Confessions of a Disheartened Diary
by Myosotis13
Summary: NeoQueen Serenity has been ruling for some time over a prosperous Crystal Tokyo. One quiet afternoon she decides to make a new entry in her almost abandoned diary...but gets slightly more than what she bargained for!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own "Sailor Moon", make any profit off this story (although I'm taking offers:D sigh...just kidding...) or intend to infringe on any copyrights.**

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Neo-Queen Serenity closed the door to her chambers with a long sigh. Leadership was more tiring than her adolescent dreams had shown her. As it so happened, it was also much more rewarding and fulfilling—the knowledge that the people of Crystal Tokyo prospered in peace always gave her the energy to go on.

Of course, the weekly meetings with the Carping Bureaucrats—erm, City Board, that is—drained that energy to the last drop. Luckily, the King had chosen to close the meeting early that day and discuss the rest of the issues with the board members in his private cabinet.

"My early birthday present, I guess…" The Neo-Queen murmured to herself with a small smile.

She walked to the royal four-post bed and let herself fall on top of it with a soft thump.

"Ow, ow, ow…sheesh!"

She massaged the stinging skin on her head and carefully removed the delicate golden crown. For the thousandth time she made a mental note _not _to go to sleep wearing it…and hoped to actually remember that next time.

Lying on her right side, she enjoyed the coolness of the white silky sheets against her cheek. Idly, she ran a finger through her long, blond hair. Her thoughts slowly drifted to her loved ones, her friends…and everything they had gone through together. And all the things they still lived through together each day.

Suddenly, her blue eyes snapped open, as an idea came to mind. Serenity stood up, straightened a wrinkle or two on her white dress—to little practical avail—and went to the small wooden desk near the window. She opened drawer after neatly organized drawer, searching…

"Now, where did I put it? I'm sure it was here last time I checked…if only Mamo-chan would stop, hm, _just_ _organizing our desk a bit_…Ah, I knew it!"

Victoriously, she took out a cheery-looking notebook of considerable thickness. Bright, colorful stickers of bunnies and kittens decorated its two covers, along with clumsily drawn stars and cherry flowers. On the front cover, stood printed in bold pink letters:

"_**Usagi's Own Very Personal Diary"**_

The Neo-Queen opened it and flicked through the first few pages. The writing was not particularly neat—it took _all_ her carefully developed diplomatic skills to phrase it so delicately—and contained no Kanji whatsoever. Serenity checked the last entry, noticing it had been a little over two years before. And the previous one, about nine months before the last. She shook her hand in silent self-reprimanding.

"Well…this is an affair of state too…right? We can't have it neglected…"

She sat down at the desk and straightened her shoulders. Her hand automatically reached for a pencil, and the queen starting writing.

"**My dear, dear Diary**"

She stopped for a moment, enjoying the sight of those words.

"**I've been away for a while, haven't I, dearest diary…"**

_Dearest Usagi-chan…_

Her hand almost dropped the pencil. Serenity shook her head. For one moment, she had seen those words on the white paper in front of her…but no…

"**Well, I'm back now…and with lots of news! I really don't know where to start, I feel so much has changed since our last discussion…"**

_I've really been feeling abandoned lately. I wonder why I'm being kept out of the loop. Doesn't anyone appreciate my counsel? _

The pencil clattered to the floor, as the blonde queen drew away from the diary. She eyed it carefully. It lied motionless on the desk, merrily reflecting the odd sunray off its colored stickers.

"I think I should talk to Mako-chan about her latest batch of cookies…"

Slowly, Serenity retrieved her pencil and bent over the notebook once more.

_This is very frustrating, you know. Is this the end for me? Will I get all old and crumply in an dark dusty drawer? _

On the whole, the Neo-Queen felt quite proud of her conduct. The fourteen year-old Usagi would have jumped ten feet high and given off a scream loud enough to reach the moon—hm, the irony of it…. But Serenity was more mature than that. She doubted her soles had even cleared the floor (…and not by more than a few inches in any event!) as she had jumped up in alarm, pushing the chair backwards.

Another uneasy glance towards the offending diary revealed the same motionless notebook.

Slowly, with great care, the young woman came close again and followed her intuition.

"**Is anyone there? Please reveal yourself. You don't have to fear me."**

_I thought we were closer than that. I used to be up –to-date with every day's events as soon as they happened. Dates, names, details, thoughts, everything! Those were the times…! Hmm, this goes to show just how fickle people are. _

Serenity arched her eyebrows.

"Hello?" she gave it another shot. Her call echoed in the empty room.

_I feel so lonely. It's not easy being me, understand, Usagi-chan. You are my best friend and I care about you a lot, but I have to be honest: you're a bit selfish at times. I mean, yes, obviously I am a good listener, but I have my issues too, you know…? _

The queen shook her blonde odangos in puzzlement. She was starting to put two and two together…but the result was perplexing to say the least!

_I am tired of talking to myself. But it's nice knowing you are somewhere out there listening. Although…you're probably not paying attention at all. Or even know I'm here pouring my heart out to you. But it's good therapy for me to think you are. _

Serenity swallowed hard. If that was a new enemy taking over her diary, it was certainlyone with a serious psychological issue.

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**A/N: This was initially meant to be a one-shot, but it grew beyond its original planning. Although this chapter can stand its own I guess. Want to see it continued? Should I leave it at that? I'm open to suggestions :) **

**Hugs,**

**Myosotis**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Part II**_

_You'd think people who so affectionately address us as their best friends would actually consider that possibility that we DO actually hear—and most often even listen to!— everything they say. But, noooo…does anyone every figure it out? _

"I might be starting to…", Serenity spoke to no one in particular. Strangely, she felt as if she were eavesdropping. "Or reading someone's diar—erm…right. I guess that fits…"

_Well, who would've thought I'd miss you back when you drove me up the wall…When Luna came to you…and you spent weeks and months searching for the Moon Princess…! Now, Usagi-chan, I could understand your failing your Math class, but….some things are just obvious! Honestly…! You know, **moon **tiara, **moon** prism power, **moon** healing…sailor **moon**… _

Serenity smiled in amusement, just as a slight brush crept to her cheeks. She sat back down at the desk, propped her chin in her hands and looked down at the rapidly filling pages with growing affection. As the next sentence appeared, she burst into loud giggles.

_And I would have bet my pretty front cover that your blue-eyed nemesis would turn out to be your prince! You mentioned him every five lines or so… mostly to add another unflattering appellation to a constantly increasing list. _

"And to think he's taking the grousing of the Council for me now…my dear Mamo-chan…"

_I admit Chibi-usa had me barking up the wrong tree for a while there, the little brat. I first thought she was a spawn of the Underworld come to destroy domestic tranquility. It might have been your own biased description of "the Evil Child with Red Eyes" that led me to that mistaken conclusion! _

_It would have taken nothing short of a genius to figure out her lineage from day one; and a genius, dearest Usagi, I am most certainly not. That doesn't mean I need to be discarded at the bottom of a dusky drawer, though! This world is certainly not fair to my kin…what sad fate a wise diary has…!_

The Neo-Queen replied to the last words with a shrug and a shake of her head. "You're cute…but such of a pessimist…!"

_Dare I remind you of Haruka-san and Michiru-san? I wanted to tear my pages off hearing you talk about how much you admire their elegance and grace, and how mysterious they are…and then wondering just who the two mysterious Sailor Soldiers could be! If only you had listened to me then, Usagi-chan…I could have told you much about the Talismans and the Grail… _

Serenity's eyebrows sprang upwards in undisguised curiosity.

_I peaked into Queen Serenity's diary, alright? And all that just to be able to help you…if you'd let me! (so much for that plan…) So, the diary of Her Majesty intimidated me… it was always so calm and knowledgeable. It told me bits and pieces about the three talismans. I had my sneaky suspicion about the owners…but when I tried to check with Pluto's diary, it was fruitless. And mind you, I asked nicely, flattered, threatened and whined! _

Torn between hilarity and thoughtfulness, Serenity tilted her head, pondering the words she read.

_I sometimes wish I could at least spring open every now and then. My pages are already developing the symptoms of close confinement. The empty are envious of the written ones, while the latter are paranoid that their precious ink will wear off onto the white paper. It's difficult to keep organized and sane... you of all people should understand that Usagi-chan! After all, you know the true meaning of Chaos…you **did** live in that room of yours for sixteen years! Oh, and there was that brief encounter with Chaos incarnate, of course. So you see what I mean…_

"I certainly begin to, yes…"

_I miss the knowledge of what is happening in the world. You know, I was quite good at making predictions! If only you had listened to—bar that, if only you had even **heard**—my advice…you would have known the truth about Haruka-san and Michiru-san long before you actually did…and discovered it was Chibiusa's dream Pegasus resided inside of (I had a small chat with her diary to make sure…is that cheating?) I even tried to sneak a preview of the future…but Pluto's diary wouldn't share a single word—again! The nerve…! We are still in doubt whether it is really the diary acting secretive, or Pluto did not tell it anything. My bet is on the latter…_

Again Serenity gave a small laugh.

"I've really been missing out all these years, haven't I?", she wondered aloud as new words decorated the diary page.

_Yes, those were the good days… But here I am now, all alone and ignorant and quite dissatisfied, if I may say so. _

Amusement flickered in the Neo-Queen's eyes as she picked up the pencil again. The words she had been reading disappeared the moment the black coal tip touched the paper. But she remembered them well.

"**I see my rants have made you a bit grouchy. But that's alright, because you've listened to me for so long that it's high time I returned the favor! "**

At that moment, she heard the door to the quarters open, and a weary King Endymion walked in. He shook his head tiredly, but the sight of his wife brought a small smile to his lips.

"At times like these, I wish I were just Chiba Mamoru again…"

He was surprised to see Serenity burst into loud giggles.

"What, that smug, importuning Mamoru who always laughed at me? The insufferable man who called me a dumpling-head?"

The King was caught by her cheerfulness. He advanced towards her and trapped her in a tight embrace. Serenity put a hand on his chest, and lovingly caressed his face with the other. Just before their lips met, he jokingly winked at her:

"Oh, insufferable am I? Well, next time, you're chairing the meeting with the City Board!"

_You're really there, Usagi-chan? Well…have I got some news for you…! Coaxed it out of Mercury's diary…is that cheating? _

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